Saturday 24 March 2012

Ronald in The Magical World (Game Gear)

Super Adventures in McDonaldland the Magical World - Game 6

Okay this is the last McDonald's game that I'm aware of. It's definitely going to be the last one I'm playing.

Hey I recognise this music... this is from McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure. Don't tell me this is just a Game Gear port.

Last time in Treasure Land Adventure, Ronald found a piece of mysterious treasure map while he was out for a walk. And this time Grimace has stumbled upon a suspicious looking box. These people really need to stop picking up crap they find in the forest.

The box says 'DO NOT OPEN!', so of course they immediately want to open it.

Uh, no... that's a piece of paper, not a bomb. Though with Ronald around they're right to be cautious.

In fact, this looks like another bloody treasure map.

Oh, my mistake. I guess it actually was a bomb.

A wizard appears and invites everyone to pay a mandatory visit to his Magical World.

Sorry guys, looks like you're going to be stuck in there forever.

Actually Ronald may be a creepy clown, but he's not the kind of guy who'd just abandon his friends in a sinister fantasy world to find their own way out. Except for the time he did that in M.C. Kids. And again in Global Gladiators.

Anyway the point is, he doesn't let other people trap his friends, so he grabs the wizard's stick and jumps in after them.

Wow, it's a platformer, and it starts in a FOREST WORLD!

Well it looks and sounds a lot like Treasure Land, and it has the same music, but it doesn't play like it. Ronald has traded in his scarf and sparkly magic powers for a stick that doubles as an umbrella. Now I have the ability to glide, and to hit enemies that are very very close to me.


Uh, what just killed me?

Oh I see, it was some little demon thing that came out of nowhere. It must have been hovering around the top edge of the screen just out of sight, until it was ready to swoop down and strike. That little flying bastard.

Oh damn, there's a milkshake down there! It took them a few games, but they've finally given in to the temptation of making the player collect actual McDonald's products.

Son of a bitch, I got killed by a fish now? I am so bad at this.

That son of a bitch swooped me again out of nowhere! I'm not sure that was entirely fair.

Well that's just embarrassing. I couldn't make it past the first half of the first level of a game aimed to encourage pre-teens to pester their parents for fast food.

Okay fine, I'll give it another shot. I'm not done with this yet.

Crap, I've found a key. That's worrying.

I really hope I don't have to hunt one of these down in every level before I can leave. Though I suppose that wouldn't be any worse than collecting Puzzle Cards in M.C. Kids.

Is this shop maybe, like in Treasure Land?

Nope, it's a pair of minigames. My first instinct is to go straight for Don't Games! and leave them be, but I suppose I should check them out once for the sake of curiosity.

It's a card-flipping pair-finding memory test game. Fantastic.

Damn, I knew it. I'll need to find a key in each level to get to the exit. At least I've already got the one for this door.


LEVEL TWO.


Well there's the key for this level, right at the start. Out of reach.

That asshole just stomped the ground and knocked something down on my head! I didn't have a chance of seeing that coming. Though I'm on to him now.

I was going the wrong way anyway, I should have turned around and started heading the other way to collect the key first.

Minigame #2 has Ronald running around trying to build up a picture out of slices dropping from these tubes. If I collect a bomb block by accident it blows up the picture and I have to start again.

I knew I should have gone with 'Don't Games'.

Son of a bitch! This wooden thing spits out wasps when I get close. They are really high on my list of things I don't want anything to spit at me. Plus that's just bullshit, there was no way I could have dodged that.

This game is turning into a memory test. Avoid the demon swooping down from off screen... run past the things falling from the trees... dodge the wasps next to the exit. Fortunately when I run out lives I just restart on the same level anyway.


LATER, ON THE NEXT LEVEL.


Well okay to be fair I had enough time to see that coming, it was my own damn fault for not reacting fast enough. I can't hit enemies while I'm gliding, but I can survive a dip in lava, so it's all good.


BUT THEN...


I jumped on a platform and it shoved me up into the ceiling. That's just not nice.

Great, now I have to do that all again from the start. Again.


MUCH LATER.


Damn I think that's actually creepier than the tree in Treasure Land. His tongue's hanging out!

I've come to terms with the fact that sometimes trees have eyes, mouths, and occasionally even razor sharp teeth. But trees should not have tongues!

This boss fight is way more straightforward than the ones in Treasure Land. I just run up and hit him, dodge his attack, and repeat. Even I found this easy.

Oh right, the evil wizard is called Mr. Joke. Which is awesome.

Well I guess we're headed to the Magical Castle then, to take on Mr. Joke and free our friends!

...or maybe we could just go to Cake Town instead.

Fuck those guys, they were only holding us back.

I think I'm starting to see a pattern here. There's the key near the beginning of the level again, at end of a long path with convenient holes for me to accidentally fall through and end up back where I started. Again.


LATER.


A dead end? Well that was a pointless trip.

Oh crap, the clowns from Treasure Land are back, and this time they seem to be equipped with poison tipped blow darts. Fortunately clowns are like ninjas, the more of them there are in one place, the weaker they get. Ronald always works alone, so I'm pretty sure he can take them.


SOON...


I don't like Cake World any more!

I have to constantly run forward to get away from this thing, dodging enemies and crap flying at me from the other direction.

The thing is, the exit's right there, like 1 screen away from the monster. I just don't have a key to get in.

So I'm trapped in this tiny level, jumping over chocolate bars and strawberries (and collecting healthy burgers and fries!) hoping that a key will eventually appear and save me.


MUCH MUCH LATER.


Finally, I'm through that bloody door!

The first few times I tried jumping up here I was sucked right back over to the monster. I guess I had to find a way up without relying on the umbrella.

Oh, I thought that shelf was a platform, but I guess it's just part of the background.

Also, faces belong on cakes even less than they belong on trees, in my humble opinion. I don't like it when my dessert stares at me.

You know, I have to wonder if they deliberately chose to put a food related level in the game to get players hungry. Hungry for McDonald's, for instance.

This boss is just like the last one. Punch, dodge, repeat. Win.

Oh no you didn't just drop another enemy on me with no warning. That's it, I'm through with this game. It was boring me anyway.

Just out of curiosity I did try running out of continues before turning it off, but I seem to have infinite. Not even death is an escape from The Magical World.


Shameless Advertising Rating: High. Sure the levels aren't covered in arches like half the other games, but burgers and fries are healing items, and collecting four milkshakes earns Ronald an extra hit point. This is the only McDonald's game (I've played) which promotes their food like this.

Clown Rating: High. Ronald's the player character, and it's clown vs clown again.


I didn't think this wasn't a great game, but it's not that bad either. In fact, all the McDonald's games are fairly playable and some are actually pretty good, y'know for childish platformers designed to trick kids into eating fast food.

But I'm done with them now! No more bloody clown games for me. For a while at least.

Part 1: Donald Land (NES)
Part 2: M.C. Kids (NES)
Part 3: McDonaldland (Game Boy)
Part 4: Global Gladiators (Genesis/Mega Drive)
Part 5: McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure (Genesis/Mega Drive)

3 comments:

  1. You forgot to add the 'oh wow the first level has trees' label. :)

    Interesting games, thanks for the great reviews.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good catch, I've fixed it. Thanks.

      Delete
    2. I am so glad that I'm not the only one that pays attention to the fantastic tags on this site.

      Delete

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